Writing Humility

I dread revising and editing. I hate spending the time.

Yeah, yeah, Michaelangelo and Tolkien, blah blah. Sometimes you just want to have an accomplishment in your hands so you can have something to show for all the time you didn’t spend playing Xbox, or going to the movies, or doing those chores that your wife wanted done.

But I learned a lot of lessons from New Arbor Day. With it, I had waited until draft three to start getting feedback, and I never got feedback all the way through. Oh sure, I had some alpha readers, but frankly, some readers don’t yet have the experience to really tell you what they think. It takes time to learn to read a story and identify why you are reacting the way you are.

So get a beta by draft two, in my opinion. You don’t want to waste a good beta; they are hard to find. So go take a break then go through your draft and purge the obvious grammatical problems, patch up those plot holes, and while you’re there add another layer of characterization. Then give it to that good beta.

And listen.

I know it hurts. I hate to hear what my beta thinks even before they think it. I’m preparing to defend every choice and explain why it was right. But remember . . . you can’t defend your work to your final reader. They won’t ask you for explanations. They’re going to go to Amazon and tell Amazon readers what was wrong with your story, and if they are nice they might hedge it with “personally.”

Evangeline had three chapters in the beginning that for a long time I was unwilling to change much. I kept getting negative feedback from critiquers (not my beta) saying they didn’t like this or that. In my defense, I rejected a lot of that because it seemed like a lecture, a dislike born out of convention rather than personal reaction. ”I like the story, but I’ve read that this is wrong . . . ”

But finally, I start to look at it from another perspective. Maybe this wasn’t so defensible? Who cares how good it is technically, if the reader can’t stand it? I kept the opening scene because I thought it was important, and I could say why, though I tinkered with the identified problems.

The next scene, I decided to ‘try’ and rewrite changing major things, like point of view character. A long list of problems shouted for me to shelve it. Call it good enough. The surprise will be given away! How will we see how bad the clone trainer is? I can’t show some of the other background stories from the clone’s POV!

But I tried anyway.

As soon as I decided to think up a different course, new details occurred to me. Sure the POV knows such and such information, but he isn’t thinking about that so I don’t have to show that. The surprise could be maintained. Be made even better because in the other POV the surprise comes from the character’s ignorance, from this POV the surprise comes because the POV is too busy thinking about other things to mention what he already knows until its relevant. Suddenly, the scene stopped being about how cool I was, and became about the character.

Because I started listening, I freed myself to actually solve the problem and refine a new skill to solve this problem in the future.

Now I’m facing another challenge. I can see the same theme repeating. I wrote this really neat scene where I told two streams of time in the same chapter. Originally, people complained because they were most of the way through the chapter before they realized what I was doing. So I went back and changed the transitions to make them more obvious. “Ok, this one is the present . . . now we’re in the past . . . now in the present again.”

It sounds stupid from here, but the thought was to show the character’s numbness. Feeling like their life is fragmented and confusing. They’re in shock. That’s how I justified it, but when I really am honest, I thought . . . that was a pretty cool way to write a surprise in. Oh the cleverness of me?

I decided to rewrite it, straight forward because the bottom line is if the reader is confused: A) They aren’t enjoying the story. B) Time spent confused is not time spent getting to know the characters. C) They are seeing the exits signs in the theater. They know it’s a story.

Most writers I meet want to be invisible. They want the reader to forget they are reading.

To achieve that, you have to be willing to stay in the shadows. You have to be humble.

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“Confession of a Gun Owner” a short story by J.S. Clark

It’s been a hard day. And not because Uncle Chad died. That was a week ago. Today, I received the box that “he would have meant for me”. I wasn’t sure about that unless he thought I was supposed to be a Green Beret instead of a hack actor on off-off-Broadway dreaming of off-Broadway.

It was a simple enough box. Six sides, cardboard, you know the type. I opened it, carelessly cutting myself on the edge when I used a house key to sever the packing tape. I froze. There on top was a black pistol, staring up at me like it smelled my blood. I felt a thrill run down my neck, not quite satisfying, not quite disturbing.

I unpacked it carefully. It was heavy and cumbersome. On TV they looked light. I jostled the box slightly and a couple of rounds rolled at the bottom. How many could this thing hold? I remembered a Bruce Willis movie. Couldn’t remember which, he was a cop though. His pistol looked a lot like this one, so Uncle Chad’s probably held twenty rounds, at least. I started to fit the bullets into the magazine. My uncle must have had an emo-OCD streak that I didn’t know about. He’d painted the head of the bullets with some kind of purple-black nail polish.

About number six, that thrill went through me again. A montage of gunfights went through my mind. It started with John Wayne with a six-shooter to Judge Dredd with exploding rounds. Round seven went in, and I was starting to remember the blood spraying as the memories went from Pretty Good for a thirteen year old to Really not for anyone under seventeen. Round eight made me a little scared as the feeling built. The fear was becoming physical; I could barely push in the ninth.

I stopped. Something wasn’t right. I left the tenth in the box and set the pistol on the table next to it.

I had to get out of the house, so I went for a jog to clear my head. What was Uncle Chad thinking? And why did that pistol in that stupid box bother me so much? I rounded the corner of the block, passed the school, and crossed the street. I stutter-stepped to avoid a guy letting his dog take a dump next to a tree. There wasn’t a bag in his hand; that jerk was planning to leave it there for someone else to find! Why if I had my gun, I’d–

What was I thinking? I shook my head. A gun comes into my possession an hour ago, and already I’m contemplating running around like a gangbanger? Shake it off. Shake it off.

A couple of cute girls that I knew, waved at me from the Starbucks. I waved back with a grin, but I felt dirty. It was like they were looking right through my plastic smile. Like they could see right through me to a gun I’d loaded in my apartment. I wiped my palms on my running shorts. Shake it off.

Shake what off? I hadn’t done anything. Who are they to judge me? If I had my piece right now, then I’d get some respect–

Did I just think that? What was wrong with me? I ran harder. Faster, till I was afraid my shins were falling behind.

It wasn’t working. I needed to engage my mind. The library! I was there in no time, bounding up the steps like I was still in college. Ready to be absolved at the temple of public knowledge by the exercise of my mind, but then I saw the sign. A black gun like my own in a circle of red, slashed through.

Of course, my gun was at home. My gun? How quickly I claimed it. There was no reason I could not go in, but irrational offense washed over me. What? Was I a second-class citizen because an unwanted gun came into my house? It might be in my possession, but I didn’t say I’d keep it!

But it was in my possession . . .  How could I walk those hallowed halls, knowing that thing waited at my home?

I couldn’t look the librarians in the eye. I turned around and ran home. There I spent the evening, drowning my shame with a stream of art festival winners on Netflix. The therapy was starting to work, but then some character would start in on another. I’d shout advice at the screen. I never shout at the screen. Sure, I make intelligent asides. But they’re always in good taste, both in volume and content. I certainly never had the urge to shoot the faces on my flatscreen.

I took a shower and got ready for bed.

“Psst.”

I spun from the mirror, toothbrush projecting from between my teeth. Had I left the TV on? I leaned out of my bathroom and surveyed the main room. The TV was off. Hmm . . .  It must have been the neighbors’ TV.

I finished up and went to bed, but I couldn’t sleep.

“Psst.”

I sat up. The dark was darker tonight. “Hello–” My voice creaked. I coughed, and tried again. “Hello? Anyone there?” There was no answer. I laid back down.

“Psst.”

I jumped out of bed. “Who’s there?” Again no answer. I had to be imagining it.

As is if one on cue, I imagined I heard the front doorknob jiggling. The groaning of a prowler’s weight on the fire escape’s stairs. I thought of the gun on that table, as if it had always been there. Just waiting to deal with anyone who might mess with me.

My face went quizzical. When did I start to think like that? ‘Mess with me’? I was having a lot of strange thoughts today. Ever since that box arrived. Ever since my apparently psychotic uncle sent me a firearm without even any paperwork. The guy with the dog came back to me. I could have used it then. And gotten respect from those girls too. My boss would be a lot more understanding when I was a little late simply because I overslept. A cab would always stop. The casting guy at my next audition wouldn’t turn me down, or I’d show him what projecting to the back of the room was really all about!

I grabbed the sides of my head and screamed, seconds before my hands clapped over my mouth. I threw the covers off and sprung out of bed.

Really, I snared myself in my own covers and tumbled out of bed. Thrashing free, I crawled to the coffee table.

The gun lay in a swatch of streetlight, pouring in just for it. “Psst.”

I sucked in and pulled back. I could have sworn the sound came from the gun.

“Hey. Limp noodle!” growled a low, thuggish voice.

It was coming from the gun! ”Wha-wha-wha . . .  Are you talking to me?”

“Next time, say the line with more snark. And say it from your gut.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. Then opened it. Then closed it. ”How are you–”

“I’ve been sitting here for hours, and I don’t feel like we know each other.”

“Know each other?”

“For example,” said the gun, “every time I speak, you look confused. Is my accent the problem or have they started mixing parrot genes with Justin Bieber’s?”

“I don’t think this is real.”

“I’ll get to your shortcomings later. First we have things to talk about.”

“Like what?”

“Like the tenth round you haven’t loaded into my clip.”

“Huh?”

“Like your thoughts, your actions are incomplete. Much like your venturing into manhood.”

“Now you’re getting pers–”

“If it was your turn to speak, then I would be asleep. But in the present . . .  Put the tenth round into my clip.”

I hesitated. What was I supposed to do? I had no idea guns could talk. No one had told me about this. In fact, I’d never been told much about guns. All I knew was that bad guys carried them, and so did cops; I was neither. Well, I thought, you’re supposed to do what cops say, and they have guns. And you’re also supposed to do whatever a bad guy with a gun says. So I guess if it’s just the gun . . . I should do what it says?

My fingers were sweaty and slipped on the magazine as I tried to thumb the next round in. My fear came back again, stronger than before. I could hardly get that tenth round to move. Maybe this one couldn’t really hold twenty rounds?

Nah, I’d seen Die Hard, and I’d counted.

The bullet clicked into place.

“That’s better. Now, load me.”

“What?” I gasped. This was going too far! The gun was out of its mind!

“It’s not hard. Think back to preschool. The rectangle goes into the rectangle hole.” I thought I heard it snicker. “You’ll feel better in a second. Trust me.”

I wanted to resist, but the urge to obey became stronger with each step. I slid the magazine in until it clicked. When he told me to rack him, I was powerless to resist. It was like watching a late night movie when I knew I had finals at seven the next morning, and being unable to shut it off.

“Now go outside and find the guy with the dog.”

“No!” I shouted in horror. I knew what the gun had in mind even as my legs carried me and my freehand opened the door. “You’re insane! You can’t do this!”

“The guy had it coming.”

“No! No! No!” I ran down the hall screaming but still obeying. Down the stairs, and out into the street. I was glad there was no one to meet me, but the gun made me start running my route from earlier, heedless that I was barefoot and in my pajamas. “Ow! Ow! Ow!” I shouted as the gun dragged me to the place with the tree.

“Stop whining! We’re here.”

“That guy is long gone. Let’s go home, and go to bed.”

“Numbskull, a guy who doesn’t pick up after his dog isn’t going to go far to do it. He lives in this building. Start shooting the windows.”

“What?” My hand raised the weapon. The air exploded with the most deafening thunder I’d ever heard. It was twenty, no, a hundred times louder than in Die Hard. I was beginning to doubt the accuracy of those movies, but far too late! Again and again, it thundered. While I screamed, powerless to stop it.

Lights came on and shouts rose.

“Ach!” The gun made a hocking sound. “Worthless bum! Probably hiding somewhere. Hey forget about him, let’s go find that guy who short-changed you at the convenience store last month?”

“Please, it could have been my fault. Maybe I handed him a ten like he said?”

The gun wouldn’t listen, and minutes later I burst into the convenience store not far away. The little Asian guy’s face went from dull-Asian-perpetual-irritation to slightly-raised-brow-Asian-anxiety with irritation.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I closed my eyes as the gun went on its rampage. When I opened them, I almost urinated myself with joy to see the Asian had disappeared without leaving a trail of blood.

“Ah, nuts!” said the gun and pulled me back out on the street. “Hey let’s go back. I thought I saw an old lady walking up the street. Maybe she was on her way to see her grandkids. Whaddya say?”

“No!” With determination I’d never felt before, as if I knew I could cure cancer and save the planet from CO2 in a single act, I shoved the gun with my freehand, pointing it at a brick wall. I squeezed the trigger and squeezed again, and again, until the trigger went dead.

“Ahhh,” the gun groaned. “Well . . . I feel better anyway.”

I could feel my gun hand loosen. My fingers obeyed me! My feet obeyed! Emptying the gun had robbed it of its power. But for how long?

I heard a commotion from down the street, where I had shot up the apartment building. There were flashing lights. “Police!” I shouted for my own benefit.

“Yeah go see them, see how that works out.”

I ran down the street. “Officer! Officer!”

An officer stood with his hand on his belt. “What is it, son?”

I threw the gun at his feet without thinking and fell on my knees. “Officer! Help me, I didn’t know what I was doing. I picked that thing up and it made me go shoot up the neighborhood!”

The officer looked at me with pity, nodding his head. I cringed in horror as he crouched down toward the gun. “Easy, son,” he assured with his hand outstretched. “It’s dead now.” He eyed the open sliding-thingy. He touched its evil black metal.

“I had no idea it was so strong.” I looked from it to his own gun resting in its holster. “How do you handle it?” I was hypnotized by the two weapons, half afraid one of them would make him shoot me. ”How do you control it?”

“Stepping into the ring, does not make you the beast master. It takes a special person to be able to control two and half pounds of steel, and a couple micrograms of powder.” He looked at the gun with a grim respect. “It has a will of its own. A powerful will. Most people . . . ” he shook his head, “just don’t have it in them. Most touch a gun and it’s like crack. They’re hooked for ever. Nothing left for them but a life of crime. You were lucky.” He kept examining the gun.

“Lucky?” How could he say that? I’d tried to kill at least two, almost three people because of this gun.

“Yep. This is a prop gun.”

My jaw dropped, as if bearing the wait of comprehension.

“You were shooting blanks. We were wondering why there didn’t seem to be any damage.” He gestured to the building. “There should have been a color mark on the casings.”

Oh.

“That’s no doubt why you were able to have the kind of control you did. If they’d been live rounds you probably would have immediately made an elaborate plan to shoot up an elementary school, or started an argument with your girlfriend just so you could shoot her.”

I was horrified. I couldn’t even imagine a stronger urge than what this fake gun had exerted over me.

I figured that my uncle had actually meant it to help me in my acting career somehow, but he should have told me what he was doing before he died in that car accident. I guess I can forgive him since I didn’t actually kill anyone, but I can’t believe all the trouble he caused.

Enough about my day, I better get to sleep, or I’m liable to have road rage on my way into work and mow down some pedestrian who can’t figure out where the crosswalk is.

***

Author’s note: I shouldn’t have to say this, but we live in a culture that demonizes opposing views by exaggerating their proponents into real-life cartoons. Like depicting a politician in an ad literally throwing granny off a cliff.

I understand that what is depicted above is not the way anyone actually thinks. It’s satirical humor, and I’ll leave you to discern what the actual “message” was, if any.

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Getting shot at does not make you a hero

Do you know why we have different words for “victims” and “heroes”?

It’s because they don’t mean the same.

I’m thinking about Boston. Now, let me be clear. My heart goes out to the victims, who have suffered because of this tragedy.

But when a victim becomes a hero, is when in the face of a threat or an attack you respond. A woman who is raped and points out her attacker was a victim and becomes a hero. People attacked by an enemy are victims until they decide to strike back, then they become heroes.

But what’s happening now? Twenty kids stand around while a girl gets raped. Kids are told to stand by when bullying is going on; go get someone else. They’re told in our town that if you’re punched, you don’t get to hit back until the third punch. They’re taught that owning a gun is the equivalent of smoking a cigarette, which is the equivalent of voting republican, which is the equivalent of wanting to kill the planet and drop bombs on little children.

Then we have Boston, a mostly disarmed city apparently, where a little bombing . . . you know what I mean . . . and then a manhunt for a handful of people sends the whole city into ‘time out’. If a handful of people can stop your normal day just by being on the run, then ‘Boston strong’ must be what real men call weakness.

And Boston strength is spreading. Cincinnati is telling runners in its marathon to leave the backpacks at home and come with minimal gear?

Really?

I’m can guess the rationale; they’re a security risk.

Well you know if we all walked around naked with our hands cuffed, and had cameras in our bedrooms, we would have a lot less security risks wouldn’t we? Of course, since the good, noble, wise government can’t be everywhere, and we’re all naked and handcuffed, the evil still happens and when it does we are . . . well, naked and handcuffed.

In the Marine Corps, you are told over and over that you perform in combat the way you train in peace. If so, the public must be being trained to stand by and wait for someone else to do something. Hide in a room and hope evil doesn’t find you. Don’t stop the bully, hope someone else does. Wait. That is what’s happening.

How about instead of telling people to not have packs so it will be easier to protect us poor defenseless sheep. How about we grab your backpacks, fill them with medical supplies, maybe a knife or a small handgun, and actually take responsibility for the world around us?

Instead of reinforcing the “let someone else handle it” mentality, how about we say, I’ll be like the passangers on the Pennsylvania flight who took their terrorists down before they could hit their target?

That’s the difference between a hero and a victim.

I’m not saying get in the cops’ way. If I see them conducting a manhunt, I’ll stay out of the way. But if I see a cop needs help, I’ll be there for him. And the cop can guarantee the bad guy isn’t coming into my house. My house is not a threat to the cop, but to the bad guy.

And I speak from experience. I’ve had a time or two when I faced a physical confrontation. Sure, I was a Marine at the time, but in none of those was I in uniform or even armed. What I had was an inner conviction that whatever needs to be done is something I am called to do. I am the hero of the moment, all I have to do is live it. It’s not that hard. More often than not, just the posture of resistance and a little quick thinking was all that was needed to make an aggressor back down. Aggression feeds off weakness, you challenge a bully odds are he’ll back down. If not today, then tomorrow, eventually he’ll learn the price is too high.

Often times, heroism is simply being a good parent instead of a popular parent. A faithful husband when its rough. An honest employee. All of these small things are heroic because they come of the same heart. But that same heart if it is still alive, cannot remain silent forever when there is evil calling for its response. You will be as you train. Maybe that’s why we seem to have few good parents anymore, and few real heroes.

Get off your ass and be the hero instead of looking for someone else to be it.

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Outliving our Usefulness?

The building I’m looking to rent for the Turtle is old. Out of date. The bathroom looks like it was around in the sixties. That’s the building I actually want. Another has a crack going up the outside wall. Despite having a large parking lot, and guest rooms upstairs, this building is for sale at about the same price as the first building, which is half its size. Around town, I can think of one, two, three, four houses sitting empty and a barn. One is being preserved waiting for a buyer, the others are waiting for the village to decide its worth tearing them down. I pass houses with cars or vans slowly eroding into the landscape.

I know that in several of these instances, the owners are elderly. All that would have been needed over the past years and decades for these houses and cars to be still usable and quite valuable would have been the strength of youth applied to them. It occurs to me that, probably no one bought this house or that car with the intention that they would sit unused until it fell apart.

I assume they were bought to be used. And it makes me sad, and a little bit angry. How much of what the previous generation built is being destroyed simply by neglect? How much waste is there in rebuilding what has already been built and only needed to be maintained? A couple saves for a life paying for a house. Children grow up and get jobs somewhere else. The man and his wife sit in a house that they increasingly can’t care for while their children go out and buy new houses putting themselves back into debt. Ignoring the resources their parents worked a lifetime to acquire.

Parents age until the house is neglected. One of them dies and the other is put into a nursing home. The house now far decayed with no one to repair it, goes on the market for much less than what it could have been. The lesser sum, if it sells when competing against newer homes built with debt, goes to pay for a stranger to look after the parent with a lot of other old people who are treated like invalids and children.

I know. Old people are hard to live with. My wife’s adopted father was sixty-one when she was born. When I met him, he was hard of hearing. Intelligent, full of remembered history, but because of his hearing he just could not engage as well in what was happening around him–though he managed well. He had growing medical issues. That’s what happens when you get old. And, I’m not saying there aren’t situations where we are financially or even materially unable to care for our elders.

But that goes back to the opening about the run down houses. Is it really worth the price, to travel to pursue your career? Is that what should define our geography? A source of money? It’s hard to imagine otherwise, even Jacob moved when the economy was bad. But do we really ‘make’ as much as we think when we move away from family? Yes, the house could actually be too small for two couples. And there’s strife, and what about your other siblings? I’m not saying it should be automatic. I’m just saying maybe we haven’t weighed what we’re giving up. Maybe for all the trouble of living close to family, even in the same house, maybe its still worth it?

Just imagine if you stayed and lived in the same house, or maybe in the house right next door and you didn’t have to buy as big a house because you’re Dad already has a chainsaw and tools and his garage is right next door? Maybe you don’t need a guest room because they have your old room. Maybe you don’t need a rec room because they have one right next door. You also save, not have to travel to see grandpa and grandma. And it’s not like their completely feeble right now. Grandpa will probably keep the shared house or houses cared for, grandma can keep the pantries stocked. The fresh cookies alone would be worth it! Grandpa and grandma’s savings help subsidize your own household expenses, not even counting any social security. You have a sitter for your child that you can trust, just about anytime you need one. You have advice about any subject . . . probably more often than you want . . .

My point is that if we think objectively, a lot of our need for fresh infused cash is created by our insanity of rebuilding wealth every generation. Have you ever stopped to ask, why the rich get rich? Someone might flippantly say, “Most of the really rich inherited their wealth!”

Ding! Ding! Ding!

We say that as a bad thing, but that meant that the previous generation saved for the next, and the next built upon what was already built instead of starting over. They had a family vision. They had a sense of propriety over the family. Instead of saying, “Who’s going to take care of ____ when . . . ?” They say, “How are we going to take care of ____?”

There’s two sides to that. On the backside, children have to think more highly of preserving the work of their parents than of their need to make a mark in the world. And that’s a spectrum. I’m not saying because your parents lived in a town with no other jobs, that you are limited to the jobs there. If you have to go somewhere else to provide for you family than, you have to judge that with God’s help. But remember the work of the previous generation, and remember that generation is your family, too. If you have to move, then how about you plan that when your parents are getting older and transitioning out of their career, how about you plan to move them in with you instead of waiting until it has to be done and you’ve been comparative strangers for years? How about you work to preserve that familial bond?

And that’s mostly the financial side, imagine what it means to your kids and your parents that you preserve that relationship? To see your parents imparting generational wisdom to your children. For your children to see a family identity rooted in faith? To see you taking care of your parents as they took care of you, and as the children ought to take care of you. It’s not just smart, it’s a holy work.

The other side of that is that people working today need to get rid of the idea of retirement and re-enshrine the idea of inheritance. Maybe, I’m lucky that I don’t really see “retirement” as an option for me. But I think that’s a good thing. Retirement back in the days before social security meant that this person was too old to work, and probably needed help to keep up with the normal work of maintaining a home. In fact when social security was foisted upon us, it kicked in about 3 years before the end of life expectancy.

A couple generations ago, no one imagined a prolonged retirement. It was simply an easing of burden before you died. Now we’ve come to see retirement as some kind of ten or twenty year paid vacation. A vacation is fine, but ten or twenty years? Look up the word inheritance in your Bible. God has a lot to say on the subject. God is constantly reaffirming his desire to leave an inheritance to his children. Wouldn’t godliness be to act the same way? Proverbs 13:22 says “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children . . .

You know what the Bible says about retirement?

Yeah, me neither.

If you can still work, take a vacation, but get back to work. Maybe not the same job. But something. Rather than planning to eat up the saving you built over a lifetime. Keep building that wealth for as long as you can because what’s left at the end is what you have to give to your children. If your children moved and have no real intent to come back, maybe you can sell your house while its still in good condition. Buy another free and clear where they are, get a part time job. And spend part of the time keeping their house in good order? Or if there’s room put a second little cottage for yourself on their land, and use the rest of the sale money to pay off their mortgage. I’m just saying make a plan so that your children are better off when you leave instead of being in the same place you were at their age.

There is no reason for generational poverty–aside from Job-like catastrophe–or even generational stagnation. A couple generations of wise and hard working people should be able to consider themselves wealthy by any standard. And it’s not just about money, but you’re setting the example to your children that you think about your children’s future. And the children that they honor their father and mother. That family vision and identity are important. It’s about family, and in theory that is why we work. If we work to get away from family or to “pay off” our obligation to family then we are not even a family.

The only reason to have a job is because of love. A job gives you money. Money is liquid, a negotiable form of power. You have money so you can buy food for people in need (starting with your family). You have money so that you can buy things that are needed to the goal of godly loving people. Sometimes that means a lawn mower. Sometimes a house. Sometimes a set of drums or some paint or a dog (in case you can’t find a free one).

The goal is not to have a really good time at the end, go out broke, and look back at your children with ”I hope you get yours too” written on your face.

PB> (Post blog) To avoid the abomination of death tax, you can give I think 13k per year as a “gift”. Is it possible to “gift” away 13k of your property a year so that sometime before you die, your estate has mostly passed to your children? Just a thought.

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Science and Modern Science: The Controversery of Intelligent Design

[The following is a loooonng response I gave to someone who asked how I would do it if I could make an introduction to some students on the controversy of Intelligent Design theory, as contrasting with Natural Selection. Plus a few apostrophes and a smattering of bold. I found it helpful for myself to articulate it, so maybe this would be helpful in clarifying one way or another your own thoughts. Feel free to share those by the way.]

I’d feel unprepared for the challenge, because admittedly I am not a science major. How can I dissect the work that’s out there? However, neither are most people. That means they are already taking the mainstream scientific view on the basis of faith not understanding.

So I think that’s where I’d start. It would be important to start by getting the students to look outside their educational perspective. In any educational program, the instructors cannot teach all perspectives equally. A cohesive structure must be followed. That’s fine, but realize that you have not been given each perspective fully.

Further, understand that we all approach everything with prejudice. Rodney King could be a good example. From the video which everyone saw, the cops look like thugs. But many cops watching the video assumed there was a precipitating string of events. That perspective looked alien but when all the facts came out, the actual cops involved were exonerated.

Likewise, most students have learned for more than a decade of their life, plus every star trek episode, discovery channel show, etc . . . that intelligent design is fringe and inherently unscientific. Just realize that you have probably never earnestly considered its perspective. In fact the Non-Intelligent design view is actually the minority perspective if you look at it as a spectrum. For example, 85% of the world believes in a god, who either directly created or indirectly created the universe.

Of course, one could argue that a lot of the world’s population is “uneducated”, and further that “intelligent design” is usually meant more narrowly as the alternative theory to natural selection rather than the broad premise that there’s a deity who somewhere in ancient past was involved with forming of the universe.

Just by way of understanding what Intelligent Design means–it does not even mean that evolution does not take place, it means that evolution if/when it occurred was directed toward a design rather than being random.

The point is that denying ANY intelligent design is the outlier view, not the norm as one might expect. And further, there are a considerable number of past and present scientists who hold to intelligent design or at least are skeptical of purely natural development. For examples in the present; mathematician, David Berlinski (secular jew); biochemist Michael Behe; Michael Denton; biologist PH.D John Corrigan; Dr. Steven Meyer.

Now name dropping isn’t evidence. In fact, some of those names will readily get you google accounts ‘discrediting’ them. Though I would point out claiming something is discredited does not make it so. And you would really have to have your own Ph.D in that area to look at it and understand the arguments for and against. My point is that there is another perspective out there; there is dissension.

And that is because scientists are human. In fact, a credentialed proponent of purely natural processes discrediting another credentialed scientist who holds intelligent design, actually proves this point. Because both received their credentials from established universities, they both have proven knowledge of the same facts. And yet they come to different conclusions on the evidence. How is that possible if they have the same facts and science is the same for everyone?

Because science is interpretation of fact by human beings. Humans are not dispassionate machines, they come to a subject with emotion and bias just like you. You can waste time on whether that is good or bad, but it is there. And this is provable outside of ID vs NS. How does science progresses? When Einstein came along and presented his theory (being the uneducated man that he was) did the other scientists immediately said “Of course! That’s obvious!” No, there was resistance. In fact, there are currently challenges to Einstein’s theories. Why? If all scientists have the same facts, why do some doggedly hold to theories even when they become unpopular? See, it doesn’t even have to be about ID vs NS. Scientists who are people have bias as well. This is important to understand. Scientists are not vulcans, even if they want to be. They have desire. There is a way they would like to see the world. Christopher Hitchens for example flatly said, that if the world were created by an intelligent designer “that would be just so boring.” Boring is not a scientific term. It is a human term of restless dissatisfaction.

All the same problems of humanity apply to scientists the same as anyone. They get distracted by things outside work. They get envious when another scientist out does them. They desire praise. They desire to leave a mark in the world. None of that is bad, but the point is what is presented to students is not fact, it is a conglomeration of human opinion about fact. That doesn’t mean all of it is wrong—though scientists will freely admit that theories are constantly changing about a wide range of things, which kinda suggests that they are admitting much of what is being taught is wrong, we just don’t know it yet. But it means ‘science’ is not infallible, if it were old theories would never have to be changed.

Even deeper down the rabbit whole, I would point to Stephen Hawking and many top-notch scientists of our day who say that our genes are responsible for just about everything (at least they could be) to the point that we have no freewill. This conveniently explains why otherwise smart people can be right-wingers (Al Gore recently voiced this idea that their genes may be to blame), and you may have heard of the God Gene (its currently viewed more as a genetic matrix rather than a single gene) which may indicate why some otherwise credentialed ID scientists are coerced by their genes to believe in a designer. My question would be, if such genes have such control . . . how could we know it? If they are genetically predisposed overriding ‘freewill’ to believe in a god, then isn’t it possible that the lack of such a gene or another anti-gene prevents you from believing in a god? This is why Stephen Hawking and others question whether you have freewill at all. If they are right, then a natural selection proponent can never know their anti-intelligent design reasoning is sound. In fact this was one of Darwin’s own doubts. By their own theories, the mind of the scientist must be suspect.

So . . . I would open with that to put back into perspective that things are not so certain as we are taught in school. There is dissent, and I would simply be challenging them to actually give ID a fair shake. I would not get too into the nitty gritty because the fact is, most of are not Ph.D’s. And though a Ph.D does indicate breath of knowledge, I think anyone of us still feels qualified to call bullshit on some of their claims. Can’t you name a scientific study that came out in the last couple years where you just said “There’s no way that’s true” and then later it was discredited?

With that uncertainty squarely in view, I would put to them some challenging questions. Bearing in mind that ID doesn’t say no evolution, it says not UNDIRECTED evolution. It would be easy and fun to go after “how did life start?” Because there is nothing replicable in a science lad (ironically with intelligent design) that can create organic life from inorganic materials. That is key because according to big bang theory, the earth coming out of the big bang and cooling for billions of years would not have any organic material. And that is a big one, big enough that Richard Dawkins had to admit that one possible explanation was perhaps the earth was seeded with life by extraterrestrials.

But that’s been “overused” and someone might rabbit trail “Well, where did God come from?”

So I would start with something more contemporary. The Cambrian Event. In the fossil record the earliest layers show nothing and then BOOM! A ton of complex life forms. Not a slow buildup of complex and simple forms of life, but a veritable explosion of diversity in the sea and on the land. Most major phyla groupings appeared in a single span of 20 million years, which even in Non-ID circles is extremely fast. By comparison the change from chimpanzee’s and humans’ alleged-common-ancestor to chimpanzee and human is five million. Five million years from an already complex organism to schism the 2% difference between the two modern species. Yet . . . non-life formed all major body types in 20 million. Not just that there was diversity in the Cambrian time period, but that life doesn’t show up in one place but all over the earth. One might also ask why life exploded into diversity so fast in a pre-dominantely non-organic world, and then evolved at a much slower pace in a world that was then already seeded with life?

Second, the problem of compounding mutation vs. over hybridization. For example, certain things as best we understand can only function as an integrated whole. This is known as irreducible complexity. Some will claim this is refuted because some supposedly irreducible systems have been successfully reduced, but that only disproves the specific (and I would note they were not completely reduced). For example, suppose a dinosaur begins to evolve into a bird from amongst unevolved dinosaurs. To fly, it must grow feathers or large flaps of skin. Such skin or feathers actually slow it down on the ground, so they make it less likely to survive in the same conditions as its unevolved cousin. Further, it has to be lighter, a bird’s bones are hollow and its muscle adapted for flying. But a dinosaur that cannot yet fly that is weighed down with skin and feathers, but has weak muscles or weak bones is theoretically unsuitable to survive. Now, evolution can explain this by saying that certain evolutionary boundaries have to overcome in a small leap. Or say that those disadvantages actually were advantageous for a time period—this is hard to imagine for something as complex as a heart. How long do you think you live with a heart that doesn’t work right? Some things do seem to be reducible (a cat can adapt without a tail), but others like your heart have a very narrow margin of tolerance for defect.
So suppose your dino-bird does make that leap forward. It is born adapted enough to fly or perhaps like a very-lucky chicken at least dart along the ground rapidly enough to survive. It is obviously, very different from its ancestors, right? Well, tigers and lions or donkeys and horses come from common ancestors don’t they? Well, if you mate either of the two, the result is sterile. Their genes are incompatible, and if they manage to have an offspring it is either weak and likely to die, or it is strong but when mated with another half-breed the offspring reverts toward the original species.

So now figure the odds for yourself: A species has to make a dramatic leap (whether a dino to a bird, or a simple non-heart creature to one with even a simple heart, heck a ‘simple’ cell of past mythology to a cell of modern understanding). But not only make the leap, but they must land in a place where that leap actually benefits them. A dino could become a bird, but a dinos prey might be more than a match for a bird, after all the dino ancestor evolved those big bones and muscles for a reason. Supposing it did, the new species then has to find a mate that is genetically close enough in the same geographical space and time, to produce a viable offspring that won’t fall back to one of its grand parents, won’t have genetic complications that are fatal, and yet . . .  without losing so much genetic diversity that you get the affects of inbreeding.

If going the other route, where these handicaps were overcome by behavior or useful in an unimaginable past, then for every species there should be a plethora of missing links, but obviously they are missing. Darwin realized these gaps and they have little closed since his time.

That was perhaps why Harvard Professor Jay Gould received such acclaim for proposing the leaping forward evolution which does away with the need for transitional intermediaries. But that leads you back to needing a simultaneous breedable pair with like mutations, without over inbreeding.

And I would especially stress in this leapfrog of evolution, for every one that worked you have to deal with millions of years of ones that didn’t work. Notice also, that the genes we now know have some repairative ability. As such through the generations, especially when infused with fresh but like-kind DNA, the result is an organism that protects the baseline. If more evolved Jane mates with less evolved Jim, Jane Jr.’s odds of carrying the beneficial mutation are lessened. Jane Jr. unless she mates with a brother is then also more likely to mate with a less evolved neighbor like from Jim’s stock, and thus the genes by diversity sort themselves back to the baseline. In other words, nature favors non-mutation. Which is obvious to any animal breeder.

Notice in experiments where they attempt to progress mutations, they do it in closed systems. They have this bacteria in a beaker only in contact with their own kind, for generations to see what comes out. Why? Because interbreeding with the other strains will tend the result back to its origin. And it is in this artificial DESIGNED situation that they generate mutations (again usually harmful). So in addition to landing good mutations without being overcome by inbreeding problems, you also need isolation from interbreeding with the less evolved. So you can’t have one pair of breedable leapers, you need a whole community. Now you could argue that geographics could produce an isolated community and exposed to the same stimuli the whole community would tend toward that mutation with increasing regularity as they interbreed. But the point is this requires yet another variable to enable, another variable to overcome.

My Third item for discussion would be to revisit the earlier mention of the God Gene. When NS proponents bring it up, it is by way of explaining why some people hold to faith when there is “so much” evidence to the contrary. It’s an explanation for a mental disease. Now, while Stephen Hawking seems to believe that the totality of your genes controls every aspect including thought (as opposed to any one gene), others believe this gene only predisposes you toward spirituality. And not even faith in a god in particular but faith in general, even in humans. So it could be more of a faith gene than a god gene.

Though this is used as rational for the religious defect, again there are two ways to look at it. If there is a god, and god wanted some kinds of relationships with people (as 85% of the world’s population believe), then wouldn’t having such a genetic framework be expected? The fact that not everyone has this framework would not discredit this, as there are people without the genes who still believe. It only speaks of disposition, not choice. Thus, anyone could believe. All it would mean is that for some it is easy to believe. Just as if there is a violence gene it is hard not to be violent, but it can still be done. But if there is an intelligent designer who wanted some level of interaction with its creation, then the idea that anywhere near 85% of people are predisposed to believe in such a designer without actually needing it to be proven, is a positive evidence not a negative.

But, because I have a great imagination, I can think of naturalistic reasons why such a faith gene would exist. Suppose Jim was a powerful specimen but had this faith gene and thus believes in some intangible good potential if not an actual god. Jane might get near Jim because he is powerful, but unlikely to be a threat. His irrational belief makes him desirable as a mate as he will sacrifice for others including Jane. Jane mates with Jim and the faith gene gets passed on. Others tend toward this group because it tends to be less threatening, thus faith favors community and community favors the spreading of ones own genes. Furthermore, inheriting the faith gene leads to personal increased survivability. As we see in animals and humans, stress is detrimental to physical health, including reproduction. Irrational faith in a future goodness that justifies present sacrifice is an effective and widespread way to deal with stress. Thus those with the faith gene (and non-gene holders who act like they have faith) live longer, healthier, and are more reproductive. Not only that it makes them more adaptive because whatever happens to them “is for our good, ultimately.” Over time those who believe, see the ‘blessing’ in their lives over the unbelievers and have enough rationality to say that some unseen force must be acting on them for good. Why else does Bob-Unbeliever in the same environment not fair as well as Jim and Jane? This easily fits the naturalist model.

However, if that is the case, 85% of the worlds population shows including all faiths that this irrational belief in a nonexistent being or even force which is by definition not natural, is a strong survival trait. As such, if it were true, it is this faith (though misplaced) which betters not only the individual, but society and even the global society. Even if the theists are wrong and their worldview is more gene than intellect, then it is the healthier worldview. Thus believing in a completely natural cause-effect world is detrimental to your health. The ID world view is in fact good for you. If the non-ID/atheist world view could do the same, and the faith gene were responsible for faith which lead to rampant religious wars (big if), then shouldn’t the atheist world view after millions of years have come to dominate?

Evolution seems to say that the faith gene to this day is more powerful. If we are trying to be naturalistic, then belief in the supernatural is a survival trait.

My fourth item, whichever way you fall on the last one (there is a god so having a god gene is a no brainer, or faith genes are predominant survival trait) the conclusion of either is that a world view that includes the supernatural is more beneficial than one without. Nature itself rewards faith. My fourth item would be to challenge science itself. First, let’s give it a little shake. Understand that science as understood today, as a quest for natural explanations to the world is new. Newton, Galileo, Kepler, Pascal, Boyle, Morse, Joule, etc., did not see the natural and supernatural in conflict. They believed the natural world was the expression of the supernatural. Studying nature revealed truth about God.
So understand the founders of modern science considered both the natural and supernatural. Which is rational, because IF there were a god who did actually create then the world you see could not be simply explained by the things in it. It would in fact, if science is searching for how things work, be UNSCIENTIFIC to exclude the supernatural from consideration. Richward Dawkins concedes this backhandedly, when he says that aliens might have seeded life on earth. Modern Purely-Natural Science has not explained life, so Dawkins has to concede the possibility of something outside local nature. Of course, that just moves the debate to some other planet, but the point is he is admitting that purely natural means cannot yet explain how life began on an inorganic world. And this lack of explainibility actually points to the supernatural.

So the 4th item would be for the students to understand modern science refuses to open all the doors, so rather than being a quest for knowledge or a true study, it is a study that will only consider what already fits inside it. ID then is in fact more science than modern science. Modern science is the acceptance of bias.

For example, if I set up a row of fallen dominoes and ask you what happened. Your logical conclusion would be that a row of dominoes fell, each knocked over by the preceding, but in fact the truth is that I set them that way. By considering only visible evidence, you have excluded the truth. Likewise, IF there was a god, modern science would be unable to determine it. Think about this, if you ask what caused the big bang, what does ‘science’ say (notice the phrasing lends itself to the belief the science is its own unified spokesperson instead of a diverse group of scientists with many agreeing and disagreeing opinions): science puts out the idea that the universe popped into being (I read this in discovery magazine) from subspace foam. And this happens regularly, but it’s only by chance that ours has not dissolved.

Is there any way to test this at all? Not unless you have something from the previous universe or outside the universe. How could you even guess at the rules that apply outside the universe when during “planck’s” time in the theoretical big bang, the known rules did not apply. The rules didn’t apply then, but we can guess at what the rules are outside the universe entirely?

The point goes back to bias. Naturalistic science assumes a natural cause, therefore IT HAS TO ASSUME that whatever came before was a natural cause. And before that? No idea, but it was natural. Wow . . . that sounds a lot like God has always existed . . .

Now you see my point. See we’re having a debate about an already running system, with enormous complexity, and debating over how it began. What you see today is governed by your assumed premise for the beginning. If the universe could begin completely naturally like an engine assembling itself and starting without assistance, then naturally it can continue as such. But once you realize that beginning is completely unprovable and therefore 100% faith based and not on empirical evidence, then you have to ask why is it more BELIEVABLE than an intelligent being brought this otherwise random universe into being with purpose? If it can come into being on its own, and become infinitely complex, with what intuition tells you looks like design, then certainly it must be as plausible that a supreme being did it? If you look at the simple Venus de Milo and do not see an accident of erosion, seismic activity, lightning, and maybe a couple hundred bores sharpening their tusks on a rock, why do you look at a living breathing creature and say “random chance”?
Once you see modern science is as much a faith as any self-described faith, at that point, you can truly be scientific and ask is this faith, where universes pop from foam by chance and then produce all varieties of life from millions of years of rain on rocks, more believable than a faith that says an all-powerful being outside of the universe created infinite complexity by intelligent design and purpose? Since the beginning cannot be explained and a supreme being is equally plausible then, you look at the dominoes and say, maybe it was laid that way and didn’t fall at all. Does that fit what you see?

And that’s really where I would want to get to. Does this prove Intelligent Design? No more than random nature is proven. In a sense, I’m saying the very debate is meaningless, but I do believe the question is important. By understanding the limits of modern science, the student can be free to look into the question for themselves. It frees them to consider both points of view. After all, does the credentialed naturalist science understand math better than the ID scientist? Can they not both work an equation? Does the ID not know how to use a microscope? See we’re debating the past, but in the here and now, they both agree. We’re being told to discount the ID-er even though he or she can do the same work in the present. After all, many of the founders of modern science were themselves ID proponents. The modern world was started by ID-ers. And we discount them and their world view based on opposing conjecture about the past, which does not predict anything better. Both views encompass the present results.

So I don’t believe anyone is convinced or unconvinced based on ‘science’ since the premises determine the conclusion. But again going back to the faith gene, life is statistically lived longer, more healthy, more productive, and more generous if it is one of faith. The reason to debate ID vs NS in my opinion, is that accepting NS coaxes people to close that door of faith in favor of a purely naturalistic viewpoint which has been shown harmful to the individual and society.

It is the seeking that is important and non-ID science tells us not to consider supernatural possibilities, despite the fact that we all inherently do it. Modern science fragments the human experience into compartments. You see a flower and intuitively think it’s beautiful, modern science tells you that’s just an illusion, a mental malfunction, derived from the smell which triggers . . . the perception of rotting meat, and the color is bright which suggested the presence of water which was important to your ancestors. This food tastes delicious, it gives me joy to eat it . . . joy is just an illusion, an emotional response where your brain is rewarding your decision to take in certain nutrients. Wow, the stars are magnificent tonight . . . that’s just that your ancestors needed light to hunt or travel at night, you have artificial lights in the house now, no reason to stare at those stars.

Modern science robs the person of CONSIDERING the possibility that there is greater meaning. Because there are only natural causes and effects, those stars can’t be an act of love toward me. That flower is really meaningless unless it’s on a fruit tree and means fruit is coming. Or maybe this woman, really has a soul. Maybe she really loves me. Another person loving another person, not for what they get out of me but because they simply enjoy who I am . . . nope its just genes. Ask yourself, why does angry sex not feel as satisfying as loving sex? Mutual satisfaction vs ‘getting yours’? Sure it can all be explained naturally through some mental gymnastics, but the supernatural, extrinsic meaning is only being rejected based upon a flimsy premise where universes pop-into being because we have to believe it or else natural science falls apart . . . but does it make your life any better? Are you more at peace, more joyful, more beneficial to society, for believing that you are just random matter in motion without any real meaning?

So call me weak minded or bad gened, but I DO believe simply not wanting to be meaningless is itself a reason to believe that we are not meaningless. I consider intuition part of science. My need to be loved is part of science. My need for meaning is part of science. And if it’s not . . . then it wouldn’t matter anyway, I’m just doing what my genes tell me.

Well, that’s it. Maybe that doesn’t answer your question? But that’s how I’d approach it. As for specific religion, I’d leave that out. I do believe specific faiths will explain the world better than others, but I think just prying someone out of the box is enough. If they seek they will find after that. And I think it is the quest that will do the convincing more than any lecture or church service ever will.

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Review: Angel Falls by Connie Mann

Angel Falls was a new experience for me. Written by Connie Mann, it is the first “romance” novel I’ve ever read, and also the first “Christian Romance” . . .  Wait. I sense this blog will have many disclaimers and redefinitions. Ok, I was turned on– ahem –I was directed toward this book by a commenter on Mike Duran’s blog, the topic was the possible help or hindrance to a marriage from reading ‘romance’ books. But don’t get the wrong idea, the cover of this book does not feature some hairless pretty-boy and a busty bimbo. And, the only sex that takes place in the book is between a married couple off camera. However, don’t be thinking horse buggies and bonnets either.

And that’s not to say sex in a book needs an apology. The bible has plenty of sex and sexual imagery. You can’t read Song of Solomon or the prophets and say “God doesn’t want us thinking about sex in any sense other than clinical.” I think we could do with less fear of breasts that are like clusters of grape, and more stories about how it is the protection of faithfulness, the protection of true love that creates the environment where sexual relations really can be enjoyed. In a casual sexual relationship, both parties are in it for what they can get. It is intrinsically selfish. Therefore both parties only do those things that protect their own interests. The words and actions are backed by an unspoken threat, “if you don’t please me, I’ll leave.” Only when each is serving and committed to death to the other, can either be truly free with the other. That is when the true depth of affection can be tapped. That is what the church should be offering and celebrating, the very best sex because it is cultivated according to the one who designed it.

Where was I? Oh, the story.

Angel Falls is about Regina, a woman with a sordid past that has become a caretaker for an orphanage. When her best friend and co-caretaker is killed, leaving behind a baby with an unidentified father, Regina promises to care for the baby. Meanwhile, an ex-Army Ranger is being sent by the orphanage’s sponsors to collect the baby. What is a story of personal conflict quickly escalates when the killer (having meant to kill the baby as well) returns to finish the job.

Regina and Brooks (the ranger) are forced into close quarters. The outside conflict is matched by the conflict between the two as they are both carrying baggage. Brooks has a failed mission and a broken relationship with his father to deal with. Regina’s past includes sexual elements of abuse and desperation, being in close proximity to a very masculine man triggers flashbacks and panic.

It was this dynamic that drew me to the book. In this fallen world, there is no shortage of relationships suffering from the affects of sexual sin, nor from the affects of sexual attacks. Connie Mann does, I think, a very serious and good attempt to convey some compassion towards those difficulties. And for this reason the story gets into uncomfortable territory for some, but I commend the writer for it. Rumor has it that some of the content got this book rejected in the Christian publishing community for some ten years. If so, that looks like a fault of the Christian publishing culture, not of the book. Messiah was willing to take on flesh, to be touched with out infirmity and walk among sinners, how can we minister to sinners if we won’t even understand where they’ve been?

Fiction allows us to train our compassion if we let it.

Through Regina we get the sense of living in fear of what every man might do. Seeing them as predators. Understanding that what to a man might be completely innocent, to someone else is bringing up unhealed hurt from deep inside. Through Brooks we see the frustration of a man who has not hurt a woman in that way, falling in love with a woman who fears and distrusts him. In a very Messiah-like picture, Brooks is literally paying for someone else’s sins and trying to help her heal.

The low down: I’ll admit I was hesitant about reading this because it was romance. Sure, I sought it out, but I dreaded all the gushy-uber-romance. To be honest there is some of that. I didn’t particularly care for all the masculine growls, stormy eyes, and at least one smoldery look. But I got over it. The story starts with a bang, and between those details I might not have appreciated was a real romance that I did appreciate. One of grace and real personal conflict. Real people really do have to fight through this kind of history.

But beside that, Connie tells a spit-fire story. I was completely surprised to find that besides the meaty love story, was a plot with a pressing threat. The killer of the baby’s mom always feels but a step behind them. There is an urgency pace, and when there’s action it is surprisingly clear.

A couple things I didn’t like as much. Obviously the smoldery looks felt less than subtle. Also there were a couple of parts near the end that didn’t make sense to me. Choices the killer made that seemed inorganic, and one action by one of the protagonists that left me going, “Tell me that wasn’t on purpose!” Those things strained a little credibility, but did not affect the essential outcome.

Overall, I would recommend this book, especially for someone or a couple in a relationship suffering from sexual abuse and shame.

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Draft Blurb for Evangeline. Thoughts?

When the emperor of the humans died, his daughter Evangeline found comfort knowing her brother would rule.

Eleven days later, he was assassinated by a shadowy inter-species aristocracy, passing the throne to her.

Unprepared, Evangeline reluctantly takes the mantle of the Nine Hundred Worlds. With her advisors help, she struggles to keep the empire from a fourth war with the bellanoi while securing against the growing wind of sedition backed by her brother’s killers.

A web of ulterior motives closes around her, can she set a course that protects her people from all threats, including her own power? Or even protect herself? Into her circle, comes a clone bred to protect her, capable of seeing through lies, but incapable of humanity.

Is he the answer to her prayers? Or the embodied sin of her empire?

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There once was a sinless man . . . then we killed him.

Who was the first person called righteous in the Bible?

Abel.

What happened to him?

His brother killed him.

Why?

Because Abel’s righteousness was respected by God, and Cain’s was not.

 

Who persecuted Isaac?

Ishmael, his brother (born after the will of the flesh, rather than God’s will).

 

Who was closest to God of Jacob’s sons?

Joseph.

What happened to him?

His brothers plotted to kill him, instead stripped him, told his father that he was dead, and sold him into slavery.

 

What happened to David? Least esteemed of his brothers. Persecuted by king Saul, why? Because God had rejected Saul and chosen David.

 

See a pattern? Fast forward to Stephen minutes before he was stoned to death by his own people, the chosen people. “You stiffnecked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, you do always resist the Holy Spirit: as your fathers did, so do you. Which of the prophets did not your fathers persecute? and they killed them that showed before of the coming of the Righteous One; of whom you have now become betrayers and murderers;” (Acts 7:51-52).

 

Even among God’s people–or more specifically, the ones who ought to have been God’s people–the ones who deliver the message of God are hated. But there seems to be a growing part of the church concerned about how it is viewed on things like homosexuality and religious tolerance in the church. Why?

 

Because it’s compassionate.

 

Says who? Did God say somewhere in his word that it was compassionate to equate loving the Son of God who died for the sins of the world with serving another god? Is it uncompassionate to call adultery sin? Is it uncompassionate to call unforgiveness sin? It is uncompassionate to call pedophilia sin?

 

If we can’t testify what sin is, what exactly are we telling the world it needs a savior for?

 

I’d challenge you that what is being bantered about as compassion is really, self-centeredness. If I let your sin go, you let mine go, ok? The unwillingness to identify sin is to trample on the grace of God–what you forgave wasn’t even a sin… And it is an act of cowardice on our part. You think I like calling sin sin? No! I know it makes me unpopular and uncool, backwards. It drives division over things that seem like they can go by the wayside. Do you think I personally “get” why eating pig is an abomination to God? Not really, of myself I’d say “It’s a small thing.” I’d like to brush over it, but the truth behind that temptation is I simply don’t want to take the effort to witness and try to change someone, and I don’t want to be vulnerable to ridicule and unpopularity. My natural bent is popularity like anyone else.

 

“But I don’t see how it’s important!” We say, or “I don’t think God meant that part!” “What does it matter to God who sleeps with who? Or who prays to who?” There are people who say what’s the big deal with responsible smoking? Responsible, safe sex outside of a covenant between two consensual adults, what’s the big deal? I mean even if you have a couple married people and as long as the spouse knows and is “ok” with it, what harm can it do to sleep around a little? What harm is there in visiting a willing prostitute? What’s the big deal with a 20oz soda or a tanning bed for my kid? Who does suicide hurt?

 

Ask people about those and you won’t get natural agreement on which of those is important or what’s right. Believe it or not, imperfect people are sometimes confused about right and wrong. That’s why God gave us his Word.

 

So since we can’t seem to find a universal gut moral code, why do we expect that we should “get” everything God tells us? Why is baptism important? Why is corporate worship important? We aren’t going to know it all, and maybe that’s because the answers are more than the digital categories we can comprehend.

 

The fact that God gave us any commands tells us we won’t always see clearly what is right (at least until his work is complete). And telling us we don’t know and do what is right inherently creates conflict. Therefore, this compassion that seeks to just accept everything is in direct contradiction to the body of teaching from God for thousands of years. Why all the stories? Why all the prophets, if people were fine the way they were? Why a Messiah?

 

And we reject was is obvious truth on the basis of . . . what? What is the evidence to Christians urging us to throw away everything that has come before? That it’s popular and it feels right. Is there another reason?

 

Have you watched the stuff that comes out of Hollywood lately? I’ve seen films where the protagonist, the one we’re suppose to empathize with (com/with + passion/feeling = compassion), is a bootlegger who cuts a man’s balls off. I saw another where the protagonist was a armed robber/complicit murderer who turns around as a way of atoning turns a couple mobs against each other, then takes the stolen loot and instead of turning it to the family of the guard who got killed, he gives it to his fellow thief’s widow. I can point to films that tell us if you’re lonely it’s ok to cheat on your wife. If you’re hurt it’s ok to pursue vengeance. I don’t know any person in any way of life, that I cannot feel for.

 

This idea that identifying with someone in sinful behavior makes it no longer sin is in direct contradiction to the whole of our faith. How can there be sin at all? The logical analysis is that you can only see sin in someone you already hate or don’t have compassion for. Which makes perfect sense because how many times have you heard, “I used to be against ____ but then I realized my (relation) was that way, and then I understood that …” Rather than being compassionate, it declares hypocrisy because the only fault it finds is with someone who doesn’t touch your life.

 

And what does that make of the sacrifice of Yeshua if there really is no sin? In one notion, we have robbed God of the glory of his compassion and sacrifice, and at the same time lied to ourselves. Raise your hand if there is not some darkness in your life that you want to be freed from. I hear over and over, “I hate this about myself, but I can’t change.” That is the message of the world’s compassion, you are the way you are with no hope of change.

 

God says no. You’ve wandered into darkness, and if you want out, I’ll do anything to bring you to the light.

 

His is the compassion of a true parent who says “I love you too much to let something stand in the way of you becoming who you were meant to be . . . even yourself” vs. the compassion of the friend who says “I know its rough and that’s why you binge drink, but just know I’m there for you.” The parent is willing to be hated to do what is best.

 

We must understand, the love of God is evident to the world but that doesn’t mean they will like it. Even the church does not like it. But it is God’s way. How much conflict do you see in the bible that God could have avoided? How many times could God simply have “gone along to get along”? Why did every prophet’s ministry talk about turning around? It all goes to God is not satisfied to leave us where we are. And frankly, look at the world, are you satisfied? If we’re all so great, so innately good, then there’s an awful lot evil that needs explaining, God has nothing to offer, and this is as good as its going to get. Please kill me now.

 

What is the result of all this? What am I trying to say to the church other than that God’s view of compassion is different than the vogue one? Realize that God’s love stands in opposition to the world’s and the world’s to his. We say, we need to soften our message and remove the sin talk. Our problem is marketing. Well let me remind you of something that hopefully you already know.

 

“…the light is come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the light; for their works were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, and cometh not to the light, lest his works should be reproved.” (John 3:19-20).

 

Did Yeshua have a marketing problem? Was he just too harsh? Cause correct me if I’m wrong, but they stripped him naked, beat him till he bled, pulled out his beard, stuck a crown of thorns in his scalp, and hung him on a cross to die in front of everyone. Yeah . . . it’s the marketing that the world hates.

 

Let’s put this back into understanding of what being a Christian means:

 

Mat 5:11  Blessed are ye when men shall reproach you, and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Mat 10:22  And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved.

Mat 24:9  Then shall they deliver you up unto tribulation, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all the nations for my name’s sake.

Mar 13:13  And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved.

Joh 7:7  The world cannot hate you; but me it hateth, because I testify of it, that its works are evil.

1Jn 3:13  Marvel not, brethren, if the world hateth you.

Joh 15:23-25  He that hateth me hateth my Father also. If I had not done among them the works which none other did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father. But this cometh to pass, that the word may be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause.

 

 God’s people may not always deliver the message in love. I’m not even saying we need to go tell the world it’s sins. The world knows it has sin, that’s why there’s so much depression, frustration, etc… They’re own hearts tell them that. Come to God as you are. God doesn’t care, and I do my best not to care, if your gay, communist, democrat, rich, poor, even republican. I don’t care if you crawled through a sewer. I don’t care if you come in a skimpy outfit or no outfit at all. But you come to God because you want help, and help means change.

 

Who I’m talking to is the church. It doesn’t matter what the world does or believes, we don’t have to shove it in their face, but we do have to testify to the truth. You can come in as you are, but God’s going to change you and he’s going to use us as part of it. We screw up, God knew that when he gave us the job. That’s why it’s the Spirit who convicts. Our job is to do it in love, yes, but that doesn’t mean the world is going to like it. God doesn’t have a marketing problem, the audience has a sin a problem. If you call it sin, they will hate you.

 

So at some point, as your doctrine, as you Christianity starts to be more and more popular. As your goals become more like the world’s. As your persecution drops away. You have to ask yourself, are you following Messiah?

 

Do your beliefs testify that the world’s way is sin? Are you willing to be hated for Christ’s sake?

 

Messiah didn’t get crucified because he had a different tradition. He didn’t get crucified because he told us to love our neighbor. He didn’t get crucified because he misspoke. He was crucified because he told the world it had sin.

 

When we as Christians stop calling sin “sin” and become more popular with the world, we stop following Christ.

 

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6 Tips for Critiquing, Constructively

Throwing out some lessons to me, maybe you have some to add.

#1 Thank the writer. It takes guts to open yourself up and say hit me with your best shot. Appreciate the human being who’s letting their guard down. Their asking for help not hurt.

#2 Like it before you open it. The writer is probably not aiming for an audience that hates what they write and picks it up anyway. The end user will be someone who looked at the cover, looked at the synopsis and said that is something I WOULD LIKE to read. Even when you’re on chapter 10 and 1-9 did not impress, the same still applies.

#3 Read frequently. A story is best when the characters/setting/plot are fresh. Especially with a longer work, odds are the writer didn’t intend you to put it down for weeks or months between readings. If you are picking up the next chapter and asking who a main character is, you probably aren’t doing the reader a service.

#4 Help them with THEIR work. If the writer wanted to know how you would do a story, their request would contain the words “You should write a story about . . . ” They are asking for a critique so that THEIR story becomes the best it can be. So don’t ask, how would I do this? Ask “How can I help them get to their goal?”

#5 Tell the truth. They want a critique so they know how to get better. That doesn’t mean be tactless. You should be able to tell someone that their work sucks without telling them “your work sucks.” If you can’t, maybe you aren’t looking at rule #2. But do tell them it sucks when it does.

#6 Because the truth you told them in #5 is your opinion, and because it’s their story (#4), what a critique is really asking is HOW YOU TOOK IT. They are not wrong for the POV they chose or the fact that their character is not or is too conventional. But they do want to know what you thought about it. A good critique is not about what they did, but about how you took it. A good critic therefore is someone who can articulate WHAT triggered their opinion. “This scene was boring” is not as helpful as “I just felt the conflict slipping away. So and so seems to be doing fine, they aren’t affected by the threat so I felt they were safe. Safe meant boring. Put something at risk!”

That’s what I’ve learned, and what I hope I am to others, and they to me.

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Afraid to rule?

I’ve been a follower of Messiah by heritage since as long as I can remember, but I wouldn’t say I became a disciple until I was thirteen or so. My wife pointed out the other day that that coincides with my beginning of manhood in Jewish tradition.

That journey began as I first understood that God actually rewards or withholds reward from his disciples based on their faithfulness. The servant who used his talent was given more; the one who did not lost the talent he was given. 2 Tim 2:12 talks specifically about how those who suffer with Messiah will also reign with him. This shouldn’t be surprising, Messiah has a kingdom that we will be part of. There’s a reason he is called the King of kings.

But I was thinking about Yeshua’s words in Matthew 5:18-19. Speaking of the Torah, Yeshua says that not one Jot (Yud) or a tittle (the flourish on some Hebrew letters) will pass away until all be fulfilled, and further those who break those commands and teach others to do so will be ‘least’ in the Kingdom. It occurred to me that if I were faithful, I could end up ruling over someone I knew and loved.

That kind of freaked me out! But I find that when something in God’s word seems . . . ungodlike . . . it is because we are reading the scriptures through the lens of our fallenness. If you read commands about the Sabbath as God is an arbitrary harsh jerk, I believe it is your jerkiness assuming jerkiness in God’s ways. You are projecting your failings onto God. But if you believe God is loving, any command must be from love, for our good.

As our idea of reigning needs adjustment, Yeshua specifically told his disciples that they would not rule, as the world does (Mar 10:42, Luke 22:25). The world’s rulers do put people under them/subjugagte/control them. God’s people are not to be so, they are to minister to the ones ruled over. The picture of God’s ideal ruler is a shepherd. The shepherd does not micromanage the sheep, he guards them and protects and provides for them. This makes sense if you start in Genesis.

In Genesis, God ruled man but gave broad freedom. Restricting only for man’s good, not God’s benefit (though God benefits when man does well). The first mention of a heirarchy (familial, government, or religious) is a result of the curse. When you get into the Torah; that view still seems to be in view (though encumbered by human hard heartedness). Both father and mother are to be honored; man is not given dictatorial power over woman (though the reflection of the prefall design of man and helpmate still shows up); there is no intent for a king; even the judges are very local. The original judges would have been people you would see every day, and only if they could not reconcile the matter it would be brought to God who would directly judge.

The point is, God’s original plan was everyone having a direct relationship to God. A chain of command of one in every direction. So if that is what was lost, then that is the goal to which God is moving us. As Revelation promises “there is no more curse” (22:3). Growing hierarchy comes because of the curse. When God gave us the Torah, much of it is to guide us back toward the goal. Notice he wanted a “kingdom” of priests (Exo 19:6-7). The idea was that everyone could have direct relationship with him. Because of unbelief, it didn’t work that way, but the point is, the goal in God’s government is that there be no government but a relationship with him.

So what do we make of the promise of reigning with God? The clue is in Rev  20:6. Why do the faithful mentioned there, reign for a thousand years? God’s kindgom is without end is it not (Isaiah 9:7)? Well, what is the point of the shepherd (God’s picture of ruling)? To bring the sheep to green pasture and still waters. Why did God set up judges? They were not to rule over, but to judge between. Two people could not see past their own desires so they went to a judge who know God’s Torah and asked, how do we resolve this?

Notice resolution is the goal. The goal is peace and love between the two neighbors. The judge is not brought in to benefit, but to help these two parties to love each other because the judge loves them (you cannot know the Torah and forget to love your neighbor). Only the inability of two people to do love to one another necessitates the government at all. If I love you, then I will not try to oppress you or harm you. And you likewise. If I happen to harm you in some way, you can simply say to me “that hurt.” And because I love you, I will want to make restitution. There is no need for a judge except for spiritual blindness.

So who will reign? Those who have been faithful to Messiah. Those who have not taught others to break Torah. So what kind of rulers will these people be? Subjugating kings or judges? Judges! The kind of shepherds whose goal is to protect the sheep.

Eze 34:2-4

  Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! should not the shepherds feed the flocks? Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock. The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.

That’s the kind of rulers God wants. And it explains why their reign is thousand years. Because what is the promise of the New Covenant? That every brother and sister would know YHVH. In the end, God’s work through these rulers who are the faithful brothers and sisters that we see amongst us, will end with those unfaithful stewards coming to the place of faithfulness.

Why then would you still need rulers? You wouldn’t! The promise of reigning will include reward. God’s word says the worker is worth his hire, so I’m sure those rulers will have many rewards, bigger house, the choicest land–sure–but part of that reward is the great work with God of ministering to people. Not being served grapes while you lie on a couch, it is the honor of being a shepherd of God’s flock.

No wonder I would dread the idea of being waited on by people I know and love. That may happen, but it will only happen in the context of what it does to bring them to the same place of faithfulness. That’s the beauty of God’s ways. His goal is never to leave someone down low, but to bring them up. His purpose is not to elevate one above another, but to put that person in a position to help someone who needs it.

The blessing of position is that its the place from which you can serve God in a greater scope.

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